Spurious Logic

Press Shot pt.1

>>Preliminary copy for review >> Suggested tag line "Murph Manages Muckers"

Croft park is a stadium full of history. Full of pride. Into this venerable seat of football comes a new manager. Today your reporter interviews him for The Non-League Paper.

Mr. Murphy comes into the players lounge which is empty except for myself. Before he even sits I ask my first question "What are your feelings on joining Blyth Spartans?"

He pauses, half sitting and fixes me with jetlagged eyes. Easing himself into a chair he exhales, straightens his tie and answers; "I'm absolutely ecstatic. It's a dream come true." Maybe it's the obvious tiredness but this reporter could not bring himself to believe such a ringing endorsement when delivered with in  a listless monotone. Dutifully, I note his reply.

"And how involved do you see yourself with the day to day running of the club?". At this he seemed perplexed and answers by way of a question. "I intend to be as involved as possible. I mean I'm the manager. I set tactics, pick players, supervise training and initiate transfers. What else should I be involved in? Cleaning the place as well? How involved do you expect one person to be?"

I can tell from the tone of his answer that he's somewhere between being impressed by the question as it drives to the heart of his managerial philosophy and fear that he as one man could be overwhelmed by the massive responsibility imposed by the monolith of sporting tradition that is Blyth Spartans Football Club.

Time to up the stakes, see what you're really made of. "What is your priority when it comes to playing style?"

Finally, a smile. "I'm going to make sure we're responsible defensively". A short answer which reveals much. I can tell that this new manager is not one for creative, attacking play but instead focussing on tough tackling, sensible play. How this will gel with the supporters and players expectations is yet to be seen. Will he betray forward thinking tactics like the cutting edge 2-3-5? Maybe he's a proponent of that experimental W-M we've been hearing so much about. We will have to see in his first few games.

"It's been said that one of you main tasks will be handling Leo Smith. How do you feel about this?". Leo Smith is an attack minded midfielder on and off the pitch and has been known to talk to the press more quickly than to his manager. At the end of last season he rang yours truly to complain that the team coach had uncomfortable seats and that he would have to "consider his future" if the situation was not dealt with.

"We have a very good understanding. I don't forsee any problems with Leo". The canned answer of a press trained manager. No personal insights there but we can tell that as far as this manager goes, what happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room.

"One last question please. There are rumours that you were not actually the manager of a soccer team in Ireland but rather that you were offered the job as a result of mistaken identity. How do you respond to these allegations? Mr. Murphy? Mr. Murphy?"

I the departing huff shows our new man is not  bulletproof to criticism. This reporter promises that my wide range of probing questions and investigations will uncover the truth as the season goes on.

Newspaper image from flickr user DaveCrosby