Spurious Logic

Defect lifecycle

  1. DISMISSIVE REJECTION PHASE: The developers receive bug report from the client. They openly laugh at the clients ignorance of the system and insist that the system is working correctly.
  2. OPTIMISTIC PHASE: After a week or two of email ping pong the developers acknowledge that there may be scope for slight improvement in the system. Checking the report, they conclude, "It's a small change, 30 mins coding. Max".
  3. ANALYSIS PHASE: Regardless whether the above change is implemented quickly, shipped out and returned with a "This doesn't do what we want it to do" comment or if a steadier hand holds the release until analysis is completed we reach this phase. The programmers look through the deeper workings of the system.
  4. CONFUSION PHASE: Symptomatic phrases include "Who the hell wrote this?", "Why does this thing (subsystem A) cause this other thing (Subsystem Z) to barf?", "Not updated since 1978?" or tellingly "Please god let my name not be in the change log..."
  5. FIRST SOLUTION PHASE: A solution is constructed and sent out.
  6. REJECTION PHASE: The solution is sent back with a comment "Doesn't do what we wanted and it also deleted all our payroll records. Please fix."
  7. ACTUAL SOLUTION PHASE: More of the team are brought in. Lunches skipped, all nighters pulled, spouses, children, friends all ignored. Finally a solution is hacked together, breaking all patterns and good practices. But it works.
  8. GRATITUDE PHASE: "Thanks. Now for the next defect..."